November 23, 2011 • 5,953 notes • therearereasons
Get in my pant, Topher Grace. Get in them good.

Get in my pant, Topher Grace. Get in them good.

(via ddanielmaitlandd)

November 11, 2011 • 339 notes • safemadness
Please can I just live in a house with boys like this. Like, just walking past your housemate’s bedroom and he’s all “Hey, I was just hanging out naked except for this towel, watching Friends With Benefits, and weeping because Justin Timberlake isn’t my boyfriend. Wanna join?” And then when we’ve finished, we ‘d go out into our yard which backs onto the forest where the lake is, the lake full of hot boys.

Please can I just live in a house with boys like this. Like, just walking past your housemate’s bedroom and he’s all “Hey, I was just hanging out naked except for this towel, watching Friends With Benefits, and weeping because Justin Timberlake isn’t my boyfriend. Wanna join?” And then when we’ve finished, we ‘d go out into our yard which backs onto the forest where the lake is, the lake full of hot boys.

(via th3n0cturnal)

November 11, 2011 • 27 notes • ashdykst
I swear to God. New life plan. Become Victoria’s Secret Angel, steal him from Anne Vyalitsyna. Sure, she may be like really hot or whatever, but her name is too hard to pronounce anyway.

I swear to God. New life plan. Become Victoria’s Secret Angel, steal him from Anne Vyalitsyna. Sure, she may be like really hot or whatever, but her name is too hard to pronounce anyway.

November 11, 2011

other things make me sad too.

Like really hot guys with rats tails. It’s like. Fuck. Why go to the effort of working out if you’re going to have that fucking thing hanging from the back of your head. Just drink beer and do crystal meth already. Like. if you can look at yourself in the mirror and go ‘yeah…that looks pretty good’, it’s only a matter of time before you’re toothless and on cops yelling ” It’s not mine! I don’t know how it got in my ass!”. Bad hair cuts are a gateway drug.

November 11, 2011

selfish people make me sad.

Ugh, so like I have this friend, and I love her and everything, but whenever we hang out she just wants to talk about herself, she won’t even listen to me. Like, today I went around to tell her about my really important boy issues, and she was all ‘bla bla chemo bla bla so it looks like I’m in remission’. God. Some people are *so* selfish.

October 24, 2011 • 69,576 notes • polaroidstars

I am weeping because they aren’t all my boyfriends. Gosling would be all ‘why don’t I massage your feet while you and Franco smoke a joint, HEY GYLLENHAAL give Jean a shoulder massage’. It would be magical, and then they would make out, and we would make out, and the angels would play harps.

(via rheelittlesloth)

September 28, 2011

My face hurts.

But I am committed.

September 28, 2011

Too depressed to title the post.

sigh so cafeboy finally gave in and he called me and he’s coming over we will probably make out whatever because now I am in love with someone tumblr famous and he doesn’t love me back. Even if I rolled cafeboy in glitter and vomited fairydust on him, he still pales in comparison to my new love.

He’s liiiikkeee…iiiiiffffff…..you took all of the hot funny guys in the world, and made mansoup out of them, but like hot mansoup, not like gazpacho, cold soup what the fuck? It would almost taste as delicious as this guy. So we’ll call him tumblrguy, aaaand now I’m weeping with sadness that he doesn’t love me back, even putting cowboy costumes on Don Juan and Romeo and making them make ‘pew! pew!’ noises while they run around the replica western ghost town I made them complete with dust and boarded up houses, doesn’t make me smile.

So I am laying face down with my hands by my side, and not moving. Ever. Except later I have to go for coffee. But then I will come home and lay on my face again.

September 26, 2011 • 3,834 notes • animalstalkinginallcaps
animalstalkinginallcaps: WELCOME TO THE HOTEL PARTY. COUPLE OF GROUND RULES: 1. NO COCAINE IN THE BATHROOM. PEOPLE NEED TO PEE. WE HAVE A HUGE COFFEE TABLE FOR THAT. 2. NO PANTS. 3. WHEN I SAY DANCE, YOU BEST DANCE.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

WELCOME TO THE HOTEL PARTY. COUPLE OF GROUND RULES:

1. NO COCAINE IN THE BATHROOM. PEOPLE NEED TO PEE. WE HAVE A HUGE COFFEE TABLE FOR THAT.

2. NO PANTS.

3. WHEN I SAY DANCE, YOU BEST DANCE.

September 25, 2011 • 2,292 notes • animalstalkinginallcaps
animalstalkinginallcaps: OH MY GOD LOOK AT YOUR DELICIOUS LITTLE FACE. I JUST WANT TO EAT IT WITH MY OWN FACE. THIS IS WHY I DON’T COME TO VISIT MORE OFTEN, GRANDMA. O SHT UP. UH JST LUHN YR FCCCCCE.  I AM GOING TO PUT YOU IN A RETIREMENT HOME SO HARD AND SO FAST THEY’LL HAVE TO DIG YOU OUT OF THE BASEMENT TO FEED YOU. AHAHAHA OH MY GOD OH MY GOD SO CUTE I WANT TO EAT CUTE BOYS FACES

animalstalkinginallcaps:

OH MY GOD LOOK AT YOUR DELICIOUS LITTLE FACE. I JUST WANT TO EAT IT WITH MY OWN FACE.

THIS IS WHY I DON’T COME TO VISIT MORE OFTEN, GRANDMA.

O SHT UP. UH JST LUHN YR FCCCCCE. 

I AM GOING TO PUT YOU IN A RETIREMENT HOME SO HARD AND SO FAST THEY’LL HAVE TO DIG YOU OUT OF THE BASEMENT TO FEED YOU.

AHAHAHA OH MY GOD OH MY GOD SO CUTE I WANT TO EAT CUTE BOYS FACES